Self-Defense Isn’t a Game: Time to Get Real.

 

Posted by ADAM CARTER on JUN 27, 2025

Self-Defense Isn’t a Game: Time to Get Real.

(Approx 2 minute 5 second read)

Self-defense isn’t just about you – it could be about protecting those who rely on you.

My last article sparked another round of debate – no surprise there. It was apparently shared to another page without my knowing and the comments went wild there too. That happens. What doesn’t change is the same old argument: that self-defense is all about fighting.

I can’t help but wonder if these people have ever been involved in something real in their entire lives. Probably not – most just watch it on TV from a comfy armchair, convinced they’d know exactly what to do when the moment comes.

But real life isn’t watching MMA on TV or playing games with your thumbs. It’s messy. It’s fast. It’s unfair. And more often than not, you’re not alone – you’re walking with your child, your partner, your elderly parent.

What then? Are you going to square up and swing punches while your child watches? Trade blows while your aging mother tries to fend for herself?

Self-defense is doing whatever you must to get everyone home safely – not just you. Sometimes that means fighting. More often, it means not fighting. It means protecting, shielding, escaping, doing what needs to be done – because those who rely on you come first.

When people argue endlessly about “fighting” vs real self-defense, they often reveal that they see themselves alone – young, fit, maybe trained a bit, imagining a fair fight under ideal circumstances. They don’t picture themselves with a child by the hand, or an elderly parent on their arm, or a mother pushing a stroller, or simply being responsible for another life.

Let me cut through all the bravado: this isn’t about you. It’s about those who rely on you.

And even if you are alone – have you ever faced total aggression? Someone with a weapon? Someone under the influence of drugs or alcohol who can’t feel pain? Someone bigger, faster, stronger than you? Is your beautifully performed triangle choke going to work against several attackers? Come on people – wake up.

If you’re walking with your child, can you fight and shield them? Can you afford to “square off” when escape is the real concern? Can you even fight the same way while holding on to a vulnerable person?

Most people who dismiss this idea haven’t really pictured the reality and certainly never faced it: your real fight might be to not fight.

To those who disagree with me – tell me how you’d protect your child, your partner, or your elderly parent when you’re attacked while walking with them.

Will you ‘square up’ and fight? Or will you do everything possible to avoid that fight – because their safety comes first? That’s self-defense.

So if you think it’s all about the fight – maybe get off the armchair first. Then tell me how you’d protect someone who can’t protect themselves. If you can’t answer that honestly, you’re not talking about self-defense at all – it’s your ego.

Now cut the crap.

Written by Adam Carter – Shuri Dojo